The F&F Musical!
by Satiana
Summary: Just what it says.


**The Fast and the Furious, the Musical?! **

Ok guys there is a special character in here see if you know who it is before the end. I hope you like it though. Its supposed to be funny but I'll understand if you just chuckle.

VINISMINEVINISMINEVINISMINEVINISMINEVINISMINEVINISMINE

It was shaping up to be a beautiful day in Los Angles. The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon of the cloudless sky, burning away the last of the morning mist. The birds were chirping their beautiful morning songs, the beautiful sunrise was setting people's hearts aglow, and from the direction of the Dominic Toretto's could be heard the beautiful sounds of... a banjo??? 

Sure enough, Letty sat on the porch, strumming away at the instrument, even though the author is fairly certain that Letty would never strum on a banjo or otherwise, but she doesn't care because it's funny, and she's the one writing it, so there, now shut up or I'll be forced to whack you repeatedly over the head with the tire of Doom. Nobody else appeared to be awake quite this early, and Letty was free to practice without getting interrupted by Johnny's gang members intent on making her hit them. After plucking out a few opening chords on the instrument, Letty joined her voice to the sound... 

The Toretto Connection 

(_to the tune of "The Rainbow Connection_) 

Why are there so many 

Plots to beat Toretto 

For things done during the night? 

He's not player, 

But only prayer (cross chain Gleams in the night) 

He will not lose anymore 

Still they keep coming and try to defeat him 

But I know they'll lose, wait and see 

Someday they'll get it 

The Toretto connection 

Red car, Toretto, and me (fist flies up) 

La da-da dee da-da dum 

La da da-da dee da da dum... 

Satisfied with her song for the moment, Letty put away the banjo, making sure to hide it among her things in case certain prying eyes decided to sneak into her room. By the time she had finished, the sun had fully risen, turning the morning pink into a cheerful yellow. The young owner of the fist of death began changing into her racing clothes in preparation for the day. Meanwhile, in another part of Los Angeles... 

"Shoot! I know it's gotta be around here somewhere," a man yelled as he wandered down the street, peering at every building. He was approximately 6'tall with long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a medium build, his white wife-beater and baby blue pants complimenting his natural colors. Despite the law, he raced around town, tire tracks being proof of his car speeding. 

"My revenge is so close," he muttered, still looking at the buildings in consternation. "I have finally discovered where Dominic Toretto is living, but I can't seem to find that one crummy little house!!" After looking curelessly at a few more places, the man finally decided to take the blow to his pride and ask for directions. Stopping the first person he met on the street, he began... 

Dominic Toretto's 

_(to the tune of "Sesame Street_) 

Hey there, guy 

I'm lookin' for Toretto 

I wanna fight, finally go toe to toe 

So can you tell me how to get 

To Dominic Toretto's? 

To Dominic Toretto's? 

After staring with mouth agape for a minute or so, the random passerby indicated that, no, he did not know the way to Dominic Toretto's and that perhaps the stranger might want to go to the food place up the road. He heard there was a lady working there that could do wonders with a tuna sand-witch. The sword-bearing stranger politely declined the offer and tried asking someone else, with much the same results. He sighed in annoyance. This was going to be a long day. 

Much, much later, at the elusive house, it was a very typical lunchtime scene. Vince had come over to bum some free food off of Mia, and Brian had shown up not too much later. Claiming to have "stopped by to check up on Dom," but immediately decided to stay and help with the meal when he found out Mia was going to be cooking. Mia had promptly kicked him out of the kitchen and shut herself and Letty in. At the moment, smoke was pouring from the windows, spreading the smell of burning food to the neighbors and beyond. Dominic cautiously opened the kitchen door, for a moment unable to see anything through the blackness. 

"Uh Letty, Mia are you sure you don't want some help? I know Mia's not redeemable but you are Letty." he said, taking a step into the kitchen and looking around. He was met with a tire to the head, followed closely by several more for they had plenty to 'spare'. 

"Of course I don't want any help, you fool! Now get out, get out, get out!!!" Letty yelled, punctuating almost every syllable with another blow to Dom. Of course, in the process she had gotten a tight hold on his collar, making it impossible for him to leave. All the ex-con could get out was the occasional "Trickeration" as the tirade continued. Leon and Brian stared in a mixture of amazement and horror, while Jessie sighed in empathy. 

"I knew she got violent when she got jealous, but this..." Brian said, still stunned. "Has she always been this way?" Jessie nodded, and replied... 

Dom-o and the Beast 

_(sung to "Beauty and the Beast) _

Tale as old as time 

With Letty it must be 

Joking 'round as friends 

Then Dom-o offends unexpectedly 

Suddenly a change 

Mad, to say the least 

He gets very scared 

Her tires are prepared 

Dom-o and the Beast 

Ever just the same 

Ever in a mood 

Ever as before 

Ever just as sure 

As Vince bumming for food... 

_Vince_: Hey! 

_Brian_: Quiet, I'm listening to this. 

Tale as old as time 

Tune as old as song 

Seems a little strange, 

Never does it change, 

Dom-o's always wrong 

Certain as the fire 

Burning our whole feast 

Thwacks upon the head 

A wonder he's not dead 

Dom-o and the Beast 

Thwacks upon the head 

A wonder he's not dead 

Dom-o and... the Beast 

As Jessie finished his song, he sat back with a smug look, expecting when he opened his eyes to find Brian and Vince staring in wonder and awe. He heard a growl and then Letty's voice carried in the wind.

Oops!...I beat them again 

(_sung to Oops…! I did it again_)

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I beat them again

I made them believe we're more than just friends

Oh baby (Looks at Dom who's still in her clutches)

It might seem like it hurts

But it doesn't mean that I'm serious

'Cause to lose all my senses

That is just so typically me

Oh baby, baby

_Chorus:_

Oops!...I beat them again

They played with my man, got hit with my fist

Oh baby, baby

Oops!...You think It won't hurt

You think I'm a squirt  

I'm not that puny boys

You see my problem is this

I'm racing away

Wishing to cross, the skanks off my list 

I steam, while watching their plays

Can't you see you're a fool in so many ways

But to lose all my senses

That is just so typically me

Baby, oh

_Chorus:_

Oops!...I beat them again

They played with my man, got hit with my fist

Oh baby, baby

Oops!...You think it won't hurt

You think I'm a squirt

I'm not that puny boys

_Chorus_:

Oops…! I beat them again 

They played with my man, got hit by my fist

Oh baby, baby

Oops…! You think it won't hurt

You think I'm a squirt

I'm not that puny boys

Jessie opened his eyes and found them staring to the side of him where he had heard Letty's voice. Letty's, voice had a dangerous note making itself heard. 

"What was that, Jessie?" Gulping, the hacker turned around and braced himself, waiting for the impact of a fist to his head. Much to his relief, Letty stopped her swing moments before it connected as a different, unfamiliar voice rang out from the yard. 

"Dominic Toretto, show yourself!!" 

"Trickeration?" Dom said, peering out into the sunlight. 

"Oh not another one," Vince sighed, putting a hand to his head. The group followed Dom as he stepped outside, taking a good, long look at the stranger who stood there. It was the same man who earlier had been wandering Los Angeles looking for the house. 

Letty looked puzzled. "Uh, excuse me, but aren't you a little early for a race?" The man shook his head

"Never mind that!" he yelled, regaining his momentum after the temporary derailment and addressing Dom. "I have been searching for over five years for you, to make you pay for what you did to me. Prepare to lose, Toretto!!" 

Dom blinked. "Do I know you?" he asked. This time the man steamed. 

"You don't remember me?!" he screamed. It wasn't very hard to picture him foaming at the mouth by this point. "I am Johnny Tran 2, and I'm mad at you!" At his pronouncement, Johnny had expected and been prepared for several things to happen. He had expected the Dom to have a sudden flash of recognition and fear. He had expected his companions to gasp in horror and denounce the beast as their friend. He had expected to race Toretto. 

He had not expected the group to break down into barely-stifled giggles. "What?" he asked, almost pouting. Being so unexpected, he was most assuredly unprepared for this turn of events. The others just giggled harder, unable to answer. 

"What's so funny?" he asked again, a definite whine in his voice this time. After a few gasps, Jessie managed to get out, "Your name!" before collapsing on the ground chuckling. Johnny pouted. 

"My parents had a weird sense of humor," he griped. 

Vince grinned, "Yeah, but to name you after a 'Typical Villain'? That goes beyond weird." 

"Oh just shut up!" Johnny yelled, finally snapping at all the mirth. "Like I said, I've come to destroy your rep, Dominic Toretto, for ruining my life!" 

Dom sighed, all traces of his former humor gone like the tuna fish during an eating contest between Brian and Vince. 

"I am sorry for anything I might have done to you in the past, but I swear I am no longer a player, merely a prayer who goes by the name Dominic Toretto. If it can be helped, I would not like to race, at this time. Wait till tonight" Johnny snarled. "It's too late for that (irony ;)), Toretto," he said, spitting out Dom's last name like a bad piece of fruit. "You will race, and you will lose." 

"What did Dom do to you?" Letty asked, angered by this man who insisted on bringing Dom's past back to him. 

"He made my new girlfriend leave me." Letty's face got red and she looked at the man angrily. 

"We had been going out for almost a whole week when one day Toretto and his dad walk into the restaurant where we were having lunch. They apologized and left because they had the wrong place, and the next thing you know she left me. All because he came in with his father and she liked bald heads and thought racecar drivers sons were really cool!" Johnny finished up with a dramatic clenching of his fist, symbolizing his inner struggles. He was sure his audience would be suitably impressed. 

The sound of crickets chirping could be heard. 

"Is that it?" asked Jessie after the silence had dragged on for the appropriate amount of time to convey the exact extent of how unimpressed they were. 

"What do you mean 'is that it.'? What else do I need? I was planning on sponging off that girl, and he ruined it, he ruined everything! He ruined my life!!" Johnny Tran 2 snarled as his anger found its focus once again. "Now, Toretto, race me. Race me with your father's car that stole my love's heart from me!" 

While the others groaned at the stupidity of Johnny's reason for racing, Dom recognized a chance for some easy money but still he felt bad. ( Why because I say so.) He knew there was no escaping this race simply because of the absurd motive. He was scared of his father's car so there was only one option left to the former player... 

A Whole New Car 

(_sung to "A Whole New World_) 

(_Dom_) 

*thinking* I must show him my stash 

*glares at readers* No, not that way you pervert! 

Maybe then he will get that 

I scared shitless of my past 

*to Johnny 2* I don't want to take your money 

*pulls out his keys* I have new car, you see 

I'm just a ragged prayerie (_I know its misspelled but hey I'm writing this and it sounds good) _

Player no more all 'cause I have 

A whole new car! (_Letty jumps in and points to herself 'and me.'_)

To race without having to die 

His car is locked up tight 

So I can hide my fear of dieing... 

(_Johnny 2)_

A whole new car?! 

But why when the other's a winner for sure? 

I came to beat my foe 

Now I don't know 

I'm so confused I don't know what to do 

(_Dom_) 

I can help to show you what to do 

(_Johnny 2_) 

Unbelievable sight 

His muscles all I am seeing 

Sending my senses reeling 

Could it be that I've been wrong? 

A whole new car... 

(_Letty_) *After asking who the girl is where she lives and when she sleeps*

I don't want to beat you 

(_Johnny 2_) 

five years spent in vengeance's name 

(_Dom_) 

Can't I change your decision? (_and other things ie. oil, gas, engine_) 

(_Johnny 2) _

I see what my choices are, but I've come so very far 

Can I return back to my movie? 

(_Dom_) 

A whole new car 

(_Johnny 2_) 

I know what I must do 

(_Letty_) 

Hey I'm not through with you 

(_Johnny 2)_

I have made my decision 

I simply cannot leave 

With Riddick being peeved

Let me share my friendship now with you 

(_Dom_) 

A whole new car... 

(_Johnny 2_) 

A whole new car... 

(_Dom_) 

It changed your mind... 

_(Dom_) 

It changed my mind... 

_(Dom_) 

*extends hand* Welcome, new friend... 

(Johnny 2) 

*accepts it* A Journey's end... 

(_Both_) 

*they shake hands* Hard to believe. 

The rest of the Dom's team blinked. Then they blinked again. Then they blinked some more. This was immediately followed by another round of blinking, wrapped up with a few quick blinks to finish it off. 

"What just happened?" Vince asked, finally getting tired of all the blinking because his eyelids were getting tired. 

"I'm not sure," Jessie replied, "but I think we just missed out on a potentially great race." Vince shrugged. 

"Oh well, sometimes you get to race and sometimes you're left out." Within moments, Mia was by Vince's side, checking his forehead to see if he had a fever. 

"He feels cool..." 

"Check again, Mia," Letty said worriedly. "He has to be sick. The Vince I know would never be so calm after not getting to race." Vice grumbled and pushed Mia's hand away. 

"I'm not sick!" he yelled, crossing his arms. "I simply realized one important thing. We're talking about Dom, and with him around a race is always just around the corner." 

"You mean..." began Jessie. 

"Exactly," Vince said... 

Tomorrow 

(_sung to, well... "Tomorrow_") 

(_Vince_) 

A new guy'll come tomorrow 

I would bet my last thousand that tomorrow 

Will be a race 

(_Jessie)_

Just thinkin' about tomorrow 

Gets your blood to tingle with excitement 

Ain't that right? 

(Vince) 

When I'm stuck with a day that's dull and boring 

I won't race on a whim, I'll grin and say... 

(Jessie and Vince) 

Oh, a new guy'll come tomorrow 

We just gotta hold out 'till tomorrow 

Come what may 

Tomorrow, tomorrow 

Letty will fight tomorrow 

And we'll get to join the brawl 

(_Mia)_

A new guy'll come tomorrow 

Get my tuna all put together 

For the night 

(_Johnny 2) _

Just thinkin' about tomorrow 

Makes me know the truth of my decision 

It's so right! 

_(Letty_) 

When you're stuck with a day that's dull and boring 

Please don't fight on a whim (unless your me), just grin and say... 

_(Vince, Jessie, and Letty_) 

Oh, a new race'll start tomorrow 

So we gotta hang on 'till tomorrow 

Come what may 

(_Vince and Jessie_) 

Tomorrow, tomorrow 

We love ya tomorrow 

You're only a day away... 

_(Letty and Mia)_

Tomorrow, tomorrow 

Yes, a race tomorrow 

And we'll get to join... 

_(Johnny 2) _

I'll stay by his side... 

 (Letty looks at him suspiciously)

_(Mia) _

You'll all be real glad... 

_(Letty) _

We'll be tar-ge-ted... 

(_All)_

IIIIIIIIIIN..... THEEEEEEEE.... BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWL!!! 

(_Dom_) 

.... Trickeration? 

Everyone laughed and started getting to know their newest friend. As they were joking around, Jessie turned to Vince, a question in his mind. "Hey, Vince, do you really think some new guy will show up soon to race Dom? And will we really get to help out?" Vince grinned that disarming grin of his at the boy. (Uh I don't think so) 

"You can count on it kid." Letty screamed as she found out Johnny 2 was not a he but a who.

"What you never seen 'Pitch Black' before? My names Jack."

**THE END**


End file.
